Do You Feel Like Your Life Just Took An Unexpected Turn?
After a significant life change, do you feel lost and unsure of how you ended up here? Are you confused about this new phase of your life and questioning your very identity?
You may be dealing with life transitions in your 20s or 30s…
• Are you struggling with a career transition or the ups-and-downs of relationships?
• Are you struggling to balance your relationship with your family now that you have your own life and career? Perhaps your parents criticize you, and it feels like they still want to run your life at times?
• Do you feel uncertain in your new marriage, or are you nervous about having children?
Do you feel lost in life now that you’re in your 40s or 50s?
• Are you having trouble connecting to your partner and feel like you’ve grown in different directions without realizing it?
• Are you worried about life after divorce?
• Or, are you single and wondering how to connect with a new partner at this stage in your life?
• Is your child going off to college, and now you’re struggling to cope with the “empty nest”?
• Are you facing an unexpected turn in your career?
Or, maybe you have concerns about growing older…
• Are you struggling with chronic health issues and wonder how you can feel whole as you deal with all this stress, pain, and uncertainty?
• Have grief and loss turned your world upside down?
• Are you uncertain or afraid of life after retirement?
• Do you feel as though your life is no longer in your control?
• Do you ever ask yourself questions such as: What is my identity? What is my purpose? Or even: Why should I get out of bed in the morning?
Regardless of the particular life change you’re facing, do you wish you could just find a way to balance your emotions and feel confident again?
Life Throws Everyone Off Track Sometimes
There are so many reasons why you might feel lost in your life. After a sudden, significant change, people often wake up and ask, “How did I end up here?” Most everyone seeks ways to make sense of their personal stories, and as we get older, it’s natural to review the past, question choices, and wonder how to find fulfillment and happiness.
Life transitions are inevitable, but that doesn’t make them any easier. Whether you’re adjusting to the working world, the end of a relationship, or the changes that come with age, you probably just want to find a way to make your mind stop for a moment so you can think clearly. You may find yourself so distracted that you can’t focus on daily tasks. You might feel like escaping reality. You may pretend that things are okay when you talk to coworkers, friends, and family members. You may even avoid talking to the people in your life that you care about, because you know they wouldn’t understand how you’re feeling—they would only criticize you, or they might even make you feel worse.
In our society, it’s common to crave normalcy—to want life to be “normal.” In fact, it is a myth that being “normal” means you are “problem-free.” “Normal” actually means getting stuck sometimes and getting thrown into difficult situations every now and then when the unexpected happens. Such challenges don’t have to prevent you from living a fulfilling and joy-filled life. When we buy into the idea that life must be put on hold until all problems are resolved and all pain eliminated, of course we feel stuck. In reality, letting go of the need to eliminate all pain from life’s challenges can open up new possibilities. It turns out that when we are able to “be with” the pain we are going through—to be heard and felt by a person close to us—it lets us move through our pain and challenges more quickly. We find ourselves strengthened and even transformed!
The thing is, sometimes there isn’t anyone close to us who can be with us in the way we need, so we can feel heard, understood, and felt and then find new strength and see a way forward.
The good news is that with the help of an experienced counselor, you can feel heard and supported as you move into this new phase of your life. No matter how stuck or directionless you may feel right now, it is possible to feel happy and whole again. Maybe your head can hear and believe all of this, but your heart is not there yet. That’s exactly where I, Connie Edens, as your counselor, can be of help. In the beginning of our work together, I can hold the hope of new possibilities—that you will feel strong again and have a life you want to wake up for each morning.
Therapy For Life Transitions Can Help You Move Forward
In my practice, I can help you grieve what in your life you have lost or left behind, so you can begin to open yourself to embrace new possibilities that lie ahead. My goal is to come alongside you, hear, and understand your pain, and help you discover a new sense of hope; you don’t have to feel alone in what you’re going through anymore.
As we work together, I draw from approaches shown to be effective through research, bringing to your therapy what fits your needs and goals and builds on your strengths. I start by learning your history and understanding how you have been shaped and impacted by your family, others in your life, and events and challenges you have faced. As we begin our work together, my priority is for you to feel safe and be able to speak freely, without fear of judgment.
As we get to know one another, I will help you identify your strengths and better understand what is getting in the way of you having the life you desire. Especially after a painful transition, you may be carrying some beliefs about the world and yourself that are preventing you from moving forward and living fully. As a therapist, I believe in facing challenges one small step at a time, and one goal is to help you see how our minds actually get in the way and keep us stuck on a daily—if not hourly—basis. I’ll help you change how you relate to your thoughts and emotions, so that you can be free to begin living a more meaningful life. I will help you explore the question, What do I want my life to be about? and then help you take steps toward what is most important to you. I draw from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and mindfulness, and I take a holistic approach: It is essential to be aware of and attend to the body, the mind, and the spirit, since all three make up who we are.
For 20 years, I have been helping people find relief, regain clarity and feel empowered to discover and embrace what life holds in store. Through my own personal experience, I know how it feels to lose hope and then rediscover it. I also know that coping with change is possible, and that there are strategies that can help you find happiness again; I practice and live them every day.
Even if you don’t have hope right now, I can hold it for you. I believe in your capacity to rebuild and heal. If we take one day and one step at a time, we can get through this together.
You might have questions or concerns regarding life transitions therapy…
Does going to therapy mean I’m crazy?
No, just the opposite. When we try to deal with difficult situations on our own, our minds can feed us negative and inaccurate thoughts about ourselves and others, leading us to believe that we’re helpless, out of control, or “losing our minds” when we’re not. Actually, one of the most dangerous and difficult things is simply being alone—just you and your mind—when you’re going through a difficult time. Going to therapy means you are seeing yourself as important enough to focus on and get your needs met. It means you are finding the courage to ask for help, a move which can set you up for discovering and being your best self!
Research has shown that our minds and brains work best when we feel connected with another person we care about, and that it’s easier to manage problems when you can talk about them with someone else. Sharing your experience allows you to see possibilities that you couldn’t see before. As a supportive, experienced professional, I can guide you through this period of transition, help you rediscover your identity, and empower you to create a fulfilling life.
If other people can get through it by themselves, I should be able to too…right?
Coping with change is hard. Although it may seem that everyone else is doing perfectly fine on their own, in truth, the perfect lives we see from afar are illusions. We tend to compare our insides to other people’s outsides, making us believe that everyone is doing fine and we are the only ones struggling, which simply isn’t the case. Human connection is one of our basic needs, and we all need and deserve support. And, I can help you tap into your inner strength so you feel equipped to thrive on your own, after our work together is done.
What if you don’t understand me?
I hope that we would be a good fit, but everyone’s needs are unique. Different people benefit from different forms of help. I offer free phone consultations so that we have a chance to begin to get to know one another before we even begin our work. I can answer any questions that you may have about my approach to therapy. I would like to hear what you want to get from coming to therapy.
My priority is getting you the help you need to heal and to reach your therapy goals. If I realize that I’m not the best person to help you on this journey, I will tell you. Then, I will help you find someone that can give you what you need. Likewise, if after one or more sessions you don’t feel comfortable with me or think you’d work better with a different therapist just say so, and I will do my best to connect you with therapists who can be of help.